Rule #11 to Surviving Sisterhood

Rule #11 to Surviving Sisterhood is never approach your sister when she is a bad mood. Earlier today my sister was in a very bad mood. I was just lying down watching tv when she started criticizing me for the shows I was watching. She said they were childish, and I was too old to watch them. This was followed up with many other insults. Unless you want to have  horrible day, never approach your sister when she is in a bad mood.

Joke About Sisters

Two sisters, Rachel and Mary, had never been married. So they lived together all their lives even though, they hated each other. When they had a fight, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night.

A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared Mary the most... "When I die I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"

They believed Mary practiced black magic and was responsible for missing cats and dogs, and strange sounds at all hours. She was feared and enjoyed the respect it garnished.

Mary died abruptly under strange circumstances and the funeral had a closed casket. After the burial, her sister went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow. The gaiety of her actions were becoming extreme while her neighbors approached in a group to ask these questions:

Are you not afraid? Concerned? Worried? that this woman who practiced black magic and stated when she died he would dig her way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life?

Rachel put down her drink and said. . .
"Nah... let her dig. I had her buried upside down!"

Rule #9 to Surviving Sisterhood

Rule #9 to Surviving Sisterhood is never mention DVR. The best excuse not to give up the tv is that you are already half way through a show, therefore you are emotionally invested. DVR allows you to record that show. This is why you should never mention DVR. For example, our DVR is set to record psych automatically because it is my favorite show. If my family knew that, I would never be allowed to have the tv to watch psych because it is always recorded so I can watch it anytime I want.

Joke About Sisters

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Smithville wakes up early and goes to their local church. Before the service starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives, their families, etc.

Suddenly, at the altar, Satan appears!! Everyone starts screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in their determined efforts to get away from Evil Incarnate.

Soon, everyone is evacuated from the church except for one man, who sit calmly in his pew, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy is in his presence. This confuses Satan a bit.

Satan walks up to the man and says, "Hey, don't you know who I am?"

The man says, "Yep, sure do."

Satan says, "Well, aren't you afraid of me?"

The man says, "Nope, sure ain't."

Satan, perturbed, says, "And why aren't you afraid of me?"

"Well, I've been married to your sister for 25 years."