Rule #10 to Surviving Sisterhood

Rule #10 to surviving sisterhood is at least seem interested. I never wear makeup or do my hair or anything like that. I basically wear my hair in a bun every day. Whenever my sister asks me about what she’s wearing, or how her hair or makeup looks, or anything like that I usually respond with an I don’t know, or I don’t care, or umm ok I guess. This makes her really upset she says it’s as if she doesn’t have a sister at all. She then walks away and asks our brother’s. Apparently I am less feminine than both of my brothers.

Joke About Sisters

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his sister’s birthday. She was really upset. Bob had a prosperous business and was a very wealthy man.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!".
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, she ran out to the driveway, and brought
the box back into her house.

She opened it and found a  scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

Rule #9 to Surviving Sisterhood

Rule #9 to Surviving Sisterhood is never mention DVR. The best excuse not to give up the tv is that you are already half way through a show, therefore you are emotionally invested. DVR allows you to record that show. This is why you should never mention DVR. For example, our DVR is set to record psych automatically because it is my favorite show. If my family knew that, I would never be allowed to have the tv to watch psych because it is always recorded so I can watch it anytime I want.

Joke About Sisters

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Smithville wakes up early and goes to their local church. Before the service starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives, their families, etc.

Suddenly, at the altar, Satan appears!! Everyone starts screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in their determined efforts to get away from Evil Incarnate.

Soon, everyone is evacuated from the church except for one man, who sit calmly in his pew, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy is in his presence. This confuses Satan a bit.

Satan walks up to the man and says, "Hey, don't you know who I am?"

The man says, "Yep, sure do."

Satan says, "Well, aren't you afraid of me?"

The man says, "Nope, sure ain't."

Satan, perturbed, says, "And why aren't you afraid of me?"

"Well, I've been married to your sister for 25 years."

Rule #8 to Surviving Sisterhood

Rule #8 to Surviving Sisterhood is never tell your siblings what you want.For example, I recently decided that for my birthday I wanted a teacup pig. Teacup pigs have to be the cutest animals on the face of the Earth. I told my parents and they made jokes, but I was serious. I told my siblings and they too made jokes. I wasn’t kidding. I really want a teacup pig. Now that my brothers and sister are aware of this desire they always bug me about my teacup pig, which I plan to name Porky. My brother screamed at me that I am not getting a teacup pig and that I should just shut up about the whole thing. My sister agreed with him and even went so far as to call Porky ugly. I was appalled. My parents, most likely taking this into account, said that I could not have a teacup pig. I was, and still am for that matter, very upset.

Joke About Sisters

Teacher: What's this a picture of ? Class: Don't know, Miss. Teacher: It's a kangaroo. Class: What's a kangaroo, miss ? Teacher: A kangaroo is a native of Australia. Smallest boy: Wow, my sister's married one of them

Rule #7 to Surviving Sisterhood

This week will be a little different this blog post will be more about being a daughter than a sister. Rule #7 to surviving Sisterhood/daughterdom (if that's a word) is if you are mad at your parents and you want to make them feel badly about it then sit in a public area (of your house), put in headphones and blare really intense music. Works every time. This past week end I was spent the night out Friday, went to the Rodeo Saturday, spent the night out Saturday, and went to Strake Jesuit’s spring fling on Sunday. On Thursday night my mom got really mad at me and told me to cancel my plans for the whole weekend. I went into the dining room and started my homework, all the while I was blaring music by Skrillex. The next morning before I went to school my mom said I Could go out Friday and Saturday, but come  Sunday I was grounded and my phone was being taken away. Well today is Sunday and I went to Spring Fling, also I still have my phone. Works every time.

Joke about Sisters

Knock Knock

Brother: Who’s there

Sister: It’s your sister.

Brother: Then there is no way I am opening this door!  

Rule #6 to Surviving Sisterhood

Rule #6 to Surviving Sisterhood is never sing around your sister. One time I walked into the house singing (I say one time because I never made that mistake again). Immediately my sister ran into the room and began both singing and dancing. The singing was horrible, the dancing was even worse. Eventually my brothers came in and joined the party. It went on forever. Never again did I make the mistake of walking in the door singing.

Joke About Sisters

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. 
Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home." 
The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. 
She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home." The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."
Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, 'comfortable.'"
The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable'?" The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde."
"She'll read it very slow."

Rule #5 to Surviving Sisterhood

Rule #5 to Surviving Sisterhood. Family is the name of the game, but like every other game there are rules. The rule for today is TRUST NO ONE.  When I was in 8^th grade I started dating this boy, who shall not be named, and I was so excited. As soon as I got in the car I told my brother. The first thing he said is are you going to tell dad. Of course, I gave the classic teenage girl response, I said no. He found this hilarious, so hilarious in fact that as soon as we got home he ran in before I could and told my dad. Every day my dad would ask me so are you still dating he who shall not be known (no Voldemort reference intended). You can imagine how awkward it was when we broke up, and the answer to the classic question changed to no. If you can’t imagine how awkward it was, take my word for it, it was very awkward. This is why I TRUST NO ONE.

Joke About Sisters

Boy 1:Why does your sister have yeast and shoe polish for breakfast?

Boy 2: I don’t know but I suppose there’s some reason.

Boy 2: Sis why do you eat yeast and shoe polish for breakfast?

Sister: I want to rise and shine.

Rule #4 to Surviving Sisterhood

Rule #4 to surviving sisterhood is always be on a team. If your brother and sister are in a fight, you need to pick a side. It is ok however, to repeatedly switch sides. If you are always switching sides you will be on good terms with both of your siblings and even if one of your siblings gets mad at you then they can’t be mean to you because they need as an ally against your other sibling. Also, it is okay for your siblings to know that you switch sides if they do then they will be even nicer to you in an attempt to keep you from switching over to the other side again. My brother and sister get into a lot of fights, usually I start out on my sister’s side, but no matter what side I am on I get a lot of benefits, because both my brother and sister can drive. After a few days I usually start the switching back and forth between teams. My siblings no I switch teams but there’s nothing they can do about it. They can’t unite against me because they’re mad at each other.

Joke About Sisters

   The sweet little girl had a violent tussle with her sister. Her mother reprimanded her, and concluded by saying: 
       
      "It was Satan who suggested to you the pulling of Jenny's hair." 
       
      "I shouldn't be surprised," the child replied musingly. "But," she added proudly, "kicking her in the shins was entirely my own idea."